Become Again
I fear not the dying time of autumn.
For then I walk – crunching the leaves
Beneath my feet.
Thanking God that I am alive
To celebrate the harvest
Before the cold dreary weight of winter
Befalls
I build my pantheon
To give meaning to the seasons
And the re-fabrication of my life.
I will not sink into the stagnant waters
Of past sin and disbelief
But grow unfettered in the
Open meadow,
Gaining wisdom and courage
From the elements above
Strength from the ground below.
My Spirit cries forth –
I am light and I will Become Again.
I wrote the above poem many years ago after losing someone I loved. I was new to this kind of loss, and the writing was cathartic. For me, the composition has withstood the test of time. It has become a source of comfort to me, as well as an example of how pain and loss can be transformed into hope and inspiration. My husband and I attended Vespers with my cousin at Mt. Saviour Monastery near Elmira New York in October of 2022. After the service we went outside and viewed the sunset pictured above. It was a beautiful reminder that at day’s end we have the ability to reflect on our past – the good, the bad, and the gut wrenching – while also looking forward to what we hope to accomplish or improve upon the next day.
Although I have a strong pull toward my roots in the hills and valleys of the Southern Tier of New York State, my adopted hometown is Buffalo, where I have lived for most of my adult life. Recent tragic and life altering events in 2022 have brought the media spotlight to my second hometown multiple times. I, like many, looked forward to a new year and a new beginning.
I follow the Buffalo Bills and enjoy football, but don’t usually watch games anymore because I often find them too intense. Instead, I “watch” the score on my phone during Bills games. When I looked into the reason why the game was being delayed and saw the reaction on the field and among the Monday Night Football sportscasting team to Damar Hamlin’s potentially life-ending injury I was brought to tears. As I was drawn into this unprecedented and heart wrenching drama, I was also encouraged by humanity’s ability to cut to the quick of what is truly important – in this case the life of a young man in dire condition rather than the profit driving business machine of a sport that thrives on the thrill of spectacular feats play after play.
During the last few days as the nation has followed news of Damar Hamlin’s recovery, I have been struck by the thought that this is one of the best comebacks ever in sports history. A man came back to life because of human expertise and medical training, as well as immediate action on the playing field. At the same time the players and an audience of millions displayed deep empathy, faith, and unity.
I write this somewhat rambling post because I believe in survivor power or the power of recovery from devastating loss and adversity. I can hope that we all learn from this widely shared event that, yes, we are a diverse people and country. We need to celebrate that, but we are also unified by our basic humanity and empathy. These are our two opposing muscles that we can develop in tandem. We need both muscles to grow – diversity for exploring differences in perspective and encouraging creative solutions – unity to bring us together and draw upon our strength and resilience. Let us Become Again.
